Fancy Pants

Life and living and Chicago.

2010-12-12T20:27:00.002-06:00

I have nothing good to write and I am not a good writer.

I miss Liza and my grandmother and I still get mad when I see people shopping without thinking. This is not jaded, it's bored.

I see that my role in life is not to change others, but to love them...but why do they have to make it so hard?

Keep on keeping on while the keeping on is so easy and without resistance, I guess.

You call me exclusive.

2010-04-16T01:05:00.002-05:00

Sometimes I get screwed over, then mad, then I realize it's my fault. Sure, I told you to keep things to yourself in order to not get you in trouble...then you made my life harder. Trust is so very valuable, but nobody recognizes it when you give it to them.

I love you no matter what.

2010-03-22T22:07:00.002-05:00

Ok. In my head, I attend church. Really, I have only attended one church regularly. It was maybe the most pleasant thing that I have ever experienced. In an attempt to cure loneliness, I started reading my old pastor's blog. Dude, it worked. I read a post that was up in November, and learned more about Love. I thought that was impossible.

I pride myself on being able to love people.

He talked about changing bloody bandages and cleaning up messes that you couldn't imagine. Shit, I just show up when I say that I am going to.

Tonight, as I sit alone, I learned about love that I can't practice.

Sometimes I wonder why I am in Chicago. Sometimes I wonder why I don't further invest in friendships. Sometimes I wonder why She stopped loving Jesus.

Liza told me that she was no longer in love with her savior. I wasn't afraid of that statement...
I am not afraid of you not loving Jesus.
I am terrified of me not loving Jesus.

I don't know what this means.

I can't wait to go back to Athens. I can't wait to go to church again. All of it means so much and nothing at the same time.

I know nothing.

2010-03-07T23:07:00.001-06:00

Being away doesn't make it better. Being away makes it worse. Being away reminds you of what you are missing while you ignore the rest of your life go on.

Thanks Kevin.

2010-01-03T14:58:00.003-06:00

This may just be what happens on my day off. I get swept up in remembering her. Most people like alone time, I don't. I think it strange that people get lost in their head and enjoy exploring it in the quiet. I am thinking all the time, and only shut off when reading or watching something. I rather have your company and examine your ideas, because I always have mine. My friend talks about being alone in public. I don't know if that is a real thing.

Liza's mom didn't want the new year, because her daughter does not exist in 2010. I didn't think of it in that way.

I don't do resolutions, but not because I can't keep them. Getting better as a human being should be something that we constantly pursue (I am not saying that I always do). The new year is about renewal. It's a start.

I have inventory to finish. I have an apartment to clean. I have trips to prepare for.

I miss her. Sometimes I am afraid to see the people that we were both friends with. Why aren't we allowed to talk about her?

Trying to break away.

2009-12-10T16:04:00.002-06:00

I got stuck reading blog posts about Liza. I read how she died. I read how she lived. I knew that it was torture to keep looking and longing, but it would have taken another human to force me away. Writing doesn't really do anything for me. Expressing and human contact really does do something for me. Every time I talk about Liza, the person I am with gets quiet. I don't really want to ruin anyone's day with my coping, but I also want others to know her like I did, and like you did, and like she did. I really want to post a link to the blog I was reading, but somehow, I feel like that would be invasive... but that doesn't make sense either. I really do sometimes start to call her. It doesn't last long, I usually realize the minute I scroll down to her name and then everything gets quiet, and then all of a sudden loud. There are happy memories that I live in too.

It's been about a year, and this doesn't mean that I am coming back.

2009-10-29T15:35:00.002-05:00

I wrote this to a friend, but I wanted to share it more. I can't stop talking and thinking of her. Please understand that this is all stream of consciousness writing.

Liza was beautiful. She was 20 years old but could convince you that she was wiser and smarter than you. She was extremely young yet an old soul as well. She fit under my arm. She was annoyingly charming. I was so jealous of the way that she attracted people. I was intimidated by her pursuit of her profession. She was one of the only other up and coming female baristas...and sometimes I was mad about that, and other times I was glad for the company. She was boy crazy and loved bikes. She had three tattoos. One was in french and read "always optimistic, always yours", one was the giving tree on her back, and the other was a coffee plant with the coffee cherry, green coffee bean, and roasted bean all incorporated. No doubt her next tattoo would have been something to do with bikes. All summer she sat at the end of the bar sipping on a soy cortado, eyeing cute barista boys, and reading about coffee. She was fluent in french. She was vegan. She loved cooking vegan food and sharing it with people. She had invited her family to the city for thanksgiving so that she could cook an entire vegan feast. Her sister looked just like her, was only a little younger, and followed Liza her whole life. Liza and I took a road trip to Michigan for a coffee jam. We realized how similar and different we were from each other, and cemented our friendship. That was only three weeks ago. We made plans to go to this fancy cocktail bar to flirt with the cute bartending staff. She was so excited about the bike I have being built for me. I confessed how afraid I was to ride in the city and she promised to teach me. She loved me with out knowing me more than just 6 months or so. I first met her at the coffee shop she worked at when she approached me, knew my name, told me she had seen me compete, and told me I was great. She told me her plans of competing and was so convinced that she was going to be a star. When we were in Michigan, we danced in the car and she made me listen to Taylor Swift defending it only to say that her sister loved this music and she loved her sister. She wasn't afraid of a crowd and was never timid. Her smile was wide and her nose was prominent. She always had these little things that she would say that annoyed me like "Where am I, I'm drunk." She made friends with everyone, but made the best of friends with people I can't imagine holding a conversation with. She played instruments and knitted. She was killed in a biking accident at the intersection of Damen and Wellington in Chicago on Wednesday around 3 or 4 pm. The cops reported it as a 23 yr old female, because her fake id was that good. She had been riding her bike on a beautiful day with her roommate and fell off at a stop light right as traffic started to go leaving her body to be demolished. Most of her injuries were to her head and she held on until they got to the hospital. Tif road in the ambulance with her and told her that she was going to be ok. Matt's mom was in the bus right next to the accident and called him because she was so disturbed by the sight. When he showed up, he realized it was his friend. Matt and his mom came into my shop right after looking ragged. Matt always orders tea but couldn't focus when I asked for his order. He asked to just get the "same thing" as his mom which was a medium cappuccino with an extra shot. I knew something was up, but didn't ask. As I made his drink I listened to him tell the story of what just happened to his roommate, my staff member. He only said his "friend." Marty called the shop around 6 and frantically said, "Was it Liza? Do you know if it was Liza." I told him that I didn't know what he was talking about. He told me that he thought Liza had been killed. I told him I would find out and hung up the phone. I didn't know what to do. I went to the computer and googled her name. Nothing. I remembered Matt's story and made his roommate ask. Deanna and I started to cry and then I went and told the staff that was on. Everyone was stunned. I called the rest of my staff and then the owner of the company. We closed early and went North to where the staff of her coffee shop hung out. The Sovereign is a block away from Metropolis (her shop). We cried, and drank, and told Liza stories. The next day we reserved her seat at the shop with a picture of her and some flowers. The wake was the next day and was where I saw her little body that didn't look at all like her but looked as if she was breathing. I saw her roommate for the first time since the accident, and we held on to each other. The day of the funeral my boyfriend covered my shift at work and many of my staff went to hear about Liza one last time. Last night we rode the route that her and her roommate went that day. It was nice out just like the day she died. We put up her ghost bike and everyone contributed something. I rode a bike for the first time in 2 1/2 years. She got me on a bike. We took the keys to the lock on the ghost bike as well as a portafilter to a beach. We screamed Liza's name and cheered for her and tossed the two into the sea. It started raining, and it was perfect. What she was, like Sue said, will never happen again.

News Flash

2008-11-11T17:59:00.001-06:00

In true Talya style, my life has become a hectic and beautiful mess. I am the new manager at the Broadway location (aka first store) of Intelligentsia. I will also be kicking off the new and improved competition season this Saturday. I hope to talk with you all again some day...

Oh yeah. I also got to meet Stephen Morrisey recently in LA. For those of you who may not know, he is the reigning World Barista Champion. He trained me. I also saw the infamous Chris Cantoni. LA was weird and fast and beautiful. I like Chicago better.

The Alchemist

2008-09-28T17:58:00.002-05:00

Have you read this book? I liked it... I loved it.

It has a pretty simple message that is written so creatively that it reminds you how important that message is in one's life. Essentially it's about following your dreams and no matter how impossible they may seem, you will be able to achieve them with the support of people in your life and, you know, God.

Speaking of God. I got so wrapped up in the whole "my stuff getting stolen" situation, that I had not bothered to see the comments that you left me on my blog about my church going/not going trip. Paul and Leah, I would like to talk with both of you about this. Be looking for an email soon.

Strange Enough

2008-08-19T13:52:00.001-05:00

It was all returned... without the cash and phone... amazing.

Losing Everything

2008-08-14T09:27:00.002-05:00

On Tuesday night approximately at 8:22 a young man (after some dancing around different co-workers) entered our break room and took my bag, a co-worker's bag, and another co-worker's wallet. He later exited out of the back of the store. Many of you may know that I live out of my bag... and I love my bag.
I lost:
1.) My wallet containing:
a.) debit/credit card
b.) some gift cards
c.) college id
d.) ss card
e.) insurance card
2.) my phone
3.) my keys (home and work)
4.) passport
5.) my favorite shorts
6.) my favorite sunglasses
7.) check book
8.) A fantastic photo

I feel like someone stole my life.

A really unfortunate comment that came out of this came from one of the Chicago cops who eventually showed up. Apparently the thief had called some people on my co-worker's phone and also picked up incoming calls. His wife tried calling his phone and reached this guy who later called her a "white girl."

most people would assume a race here and not need to ask...

The Chicago cop asked, "Was he black?"

All of us had seen the video footage of this guy and so we all said yes.

She said "Of course he was..."
I glared at her with the most evil eyes I could give...
She looked at me and said "Oh, I shouldn't have said that..."
Everyone was laughing except for me.

If anyone has any advice on how to get an ID without a passport or ss card... send me some tips.

Sunday

2008-08-11T11:09:00.002-05:00

I tried to go to church yesterday. When I say try, I mean that I got dressed, looked up the address, and walked toward the bus stop... then I got on a bus headed the other way and grabbed some coffee.

This subject may be too vulnerable (for me) to put out over my blog, but the only people who stop here (that I know of) know of my spiritual history... so here goes.

Ok. I love Jesus. That was a hurdle that was really big for me in high school because while I knew about and wanted to have a faith and journey with God, I was constantly stepping back because of issues like homosexuality and women's roles in the church. I am sure that I have not reconciled those issues still. Nonetheless I have pursued the race and committed to a belief system. I have felt the love and truth of God in my life. College was the spike of my spiritual highs (which I wish I could say I don't have) and after the crumbling of a special campus ministry, I have never regained a community or had any desire to do so. Also, because of specific experiences in this ministry, I have wanted to run from any kind of authority given to or organized by a church... does that make sense? I got sick of the politics? Act III. Here I am. No matter how rough it was to wrestle with controversial issues or faulted human interaction, I know that my life as well as other's benefits from a path on the straight and narrow. While it's just as hard of a life to lead, it's full of growth and truth. I don't want to justify it, I just know it... I guess. My fears are this: walking into a church and being tackled by the welcoming wagon, not being seen at all, feeling too guilty to worship, hearing a sermon on homosexuality or predetermination , feeling bored or angry, getting lost in the church (or school or building that it's in), or having a bad experience and not trying to look for another church.

I rarely have Sundays off of work, and this has been a great excuse to not search for a community.

I feel like I am beyond a "season" and more in a place of complacency.

I Forgot to say...

2008-08-05T07:53:00.001-05:00

Welcome Home Colleen!

Lightning Bugs

2008-06-25T23:58:00.002-05:00

I realized tonight (after seeing my first lightning bug of the season) that I rarely see lightning bugs in the city. Fireflies, as some may call them, are a staple of my childhood, and have a deep meaning of freeness, lightness, carelessness... and a sense of being a kid.

It's crazy what the city does to you. It makes you forget about how nature and green things, that are so important, and become somewhat routine in the country, are truly essential to your (my)emotional well-being. I think that in-tune country folk as well as city dwellers really understand this. I, myself, am a girl caught somewhere in between.

After seeing one, I saw another one, and then one more. I noticed how the ones here are not as full of light. They don't travel in swarms, and they fly close to the ground. It was as if the bug knew that it couldn't breathe here.

Tomorrow night, I will return to my true home. Ohio. I will see people who love me unconditionally and who stop to breathe and be free, now and again. I can't wait to see the lightning bugs that will most likely travel together holding hands and floating above the field. I will breathe in their freshness and feel the wind fold around me. The trees and the crickets will fill my ears with their song. My heart will feel light, and I will again be renewed.

Back in the Game!

2008-05-20T17:56:00.002-05:00

This week has been terrific, and I am feeling revitalized!

I sleep now, did you know that?

Work is great and my heart has healed from the disappointment at the competition. I didn't do so hot there, but then I didn't actually tell you that before. I am ready to start training again and really figure out how to be better.

I am working on relationships too. Colleen is off to Russia soon, so I will be making a quick trip to Ohio to see her pretty little face off. I like David. I am working on that relationship as well.

Spring has sprung and things are green. Green makes my heart flutter. I love the sun.

Cut off

2008-04-26T12:50:00.002-05:00

Do you ever feel like, "Man, why don't I have more friends?" It usually happens on those days when you are trying to figure out what kind of fun you can get into and realize that you have nobody to call. My roommate expressed to me the other day that she didn't have very many friends, and I was inclined to agree on my own account. My older friend says that when you get older you just stop seeing your friends... I hope that's not real.

So, I am new to facebook. It's crazy all of the people that you forgot you went to highschool with. This almost helps with that sense of needing to make more friends because in a poof I gained back all of my old friends.

I also think that it's worth saying that when you couple up with someone you miss out on hanging with friends in a traditional sense. It's only natural, but at the same time very sad.

I just want to be friends.

Vancouver

2008-04-06T14:34:00.002-05:00

On Friday morning I left Chicago on my way to Seattle. Immediately Amy Popp and I went to the train station and made reservations on a bus to leave for Vancouver the next day. Now I am in Vancouver, seeing, doing, and eating it all! I have the company of Amy Popp, Danger Dave, and their friend/my new friend Marc (who I will find out his last name later). This is the life. My plan is to get a piercing while I am here... you should check in later to see if I have gone through with it. Praise God for a vacation!

Not using my cell phone is hard.

4th.

2008-03-18T10:32:00.003-05:00

GLRBC-
So after round one I found myself in the finals with the top dogs... and I got 4th. Just short of one of those beautiful trophies! Jerks. I would like to say though... that my sig drink was definitely more complex than the guy ahead of me... Oh well... there's always next year.

Check It!

2008-03-07T15:44:00.000-06:00

Sometimes it all feels worthwhile!

http://www.intelligentsiacoffee.com/retail/broadway/03-01-2008

Hectic Schedule

2008-02-21T18:17:00.002-06:00

Hi guys! I have a couple of highlights from the last month and a half:
1.) Christmas Bonuses
2.) Flu
3.) Lots of work work work and training training training
4.) Colleen's visit
5.) Booking a plane to Seattle in April!!!! For ten days!!!!
6.) Awful, horrible, terrible doctor visit
7.) Birthday's galore
8.) Sanitation Class

I have also not been keeping up with you! So, as I have found an extra 45min to spare with internet access, I will be catching up on your lives! Also, I would love to visit people if anyone is available from april 4-14th in Seattle. Amy and I have not made our plans firm yet, but I will probably be in the city for at least 5 of those days if not all of them.

My Signature Drink

2008-01-21T19:41:00.000-06:00

I am now looking forward to the Great Lakes Regional Barista Competition and with that I am creating a Signature Drink. I am attempting to emulate a cherry pie in the form of an espresso beverage. The idea is that the drink should taste like you have just taken a bite out of a piece of cherry pie and you are chasing it with coffee. I am having some issues with making the drink thick enough so that the base is not just cherry liquid and espresso. Do you have any ideas on how to make my drink thicker without just adding milk? Tell me guys... I seriously need the help.

Ding Dong the Wicked Year is Over!

2008-01-01T15:59:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year everyone!

The holidays were good and I am hoping for a great 2008. 2007 Kind of sucked. While I did start my two awesome jobs last year, it was still a year of heart break, depression, and overall down hill battle. That being the past and a snowy and fresh new time has come, I am excited to pursue life a little differently. Gross, that sounds way too mushy.

Did you make a resolution? If you didn't but still kind of want to, what would it be? I think mine would be to pursue things a little more selfishly... does that sound horrible? I am just a little more prepared now to live life with me in mind a little more. Not to discount God or the other folks who need a little love in the world... but just a different approach to my needs and desires. I am not actually going to say that is my resolution though because I am not really into that... I guess it's just a goal. I also want to finish out my thesis and get a degree... that would be nice.

Movin' On Up

2007-12-01T16:27:00.001-06:00

So there are a great deal of opportunities sitting at my door step... so many that it has been hard for me to prioritize and figure out which ones to follow through with.
#1 Intelligentsia is always my number one priority.
#2 Inspiration, of course the second job is 2.
#3 Training for Barista Competition... duh.
#4 Sanitation License. This would be a great help when I finally move up with Intelly.
#5 Teaching English to a refugee class at Inspiration. That's what I went to school for... why wouldn't I jump at this.
#6 Women's Group. I could have a weekly conversation with women at Inspiration and be somewhat of a bigger part in their lives.

The first three already take up all of my time... how could I fit more in? How could I not? Can I do all of these? Can I give up my social life and sleep in order to be doing exactly everything I want to be doing?

Christmas is coming. I had a really nice Thanksgiving. I like the holidays sometimes.

Anyone have any suggestions for a signature drink for the Barista Comp.?

These Days...

2007-11-18T15:37:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving is almost upon us... do you feel the holidays? I never feel the holiday season (no matter how much I try to get into the spirit) until that unfortunate dinner where while the food is good you are always anticipating the horrible clean-up after. I hate dishes. I hate dishes so much that sometimes I won't eat a meal because I don't want to tidy up after myself.

Coffee is mostly what I think about during the day... I guess that that is the way I wanted it to be.

Life is so monotonous right now... which I should be inviting, but some how I miss the chaos of broken hearts and honest conversations. That's not true, I hate those, but I just don't know what to do these days without all of that drama.

Does life even out? Eventually?

I don't have much time to talk...but,

2007-11-05T18:25:00.000-06:00

I competed in an "In House Barista Competition" this weekend and placed 3rd. This is a big deal because I have been certified to work the bar for about 3weeks... It's also huge because this will be the beginning of many competitions to come... yay! The people who placed above me? The guy who is (I think) 12th in the nation right now and my trainer... rock the house!

The Boat in the Tub

2007-10-19T15:01:00.000-05:00

The nozzles in my shower look like mini ship steering wheels. Do you understand? I have to turn them with both hands so that in the beginning and end of each shower I feel like I am steering a tiny boat in which I can't even fit into. (I already told someone this today so I hope they don't stop by here and think that I am lame).

I went and had my hair cut two days ago. To give you some sort of indication, I took in a cute picture of Amelie. I would say that it was a success.

I got a total of $1.50 raise at work! I got bar certified!

That's it for now.

The Marathon

2007-10-18T13:31:00.000-05:00

October 5th and 6th are a blur in my mind. I remember being truly moody and not quite focused. There were moments when I would start crying out of fear of the upcoming event.

The starting line was worse. There were tons of people around me that were all pumped and talking excitedly and still I was there all alone and wanting to cry.

We started running, and I was still uncertain. I also had to pee really really bad.

At mile 3.5 the water station had magically disappeared and in my anxiousness to hydrate I took a bottle (used) off the ground to have a nice lady fill with water. Then all of a sudden, at mile 4, I felt a sense of relief when out of the crowd I hear two high pitched screams "there she is," and Colleen ran excitedly out to join me. Lyndsey waved and we were on our way. Colleen coached me for 4 miles and I felt like I could maybe finish this thing. We reached Intelligentsia at mile 8 where a group of people were there to rub my shoulders and give me food. I grabbed some pain killers (thanks to Chris) and was on my way. I thought my mile 8 buddy had abandoned me but she caught me right outside the coffee shop to start her bandit run with me. Kris ran with me to mile 13 and we also picked up Diana at mile 12. Never underestimate was a 30 something cute mexican woman can do. Diana ran to the end with me... but the end was not at mile 26.2... it was 18. At mile 16 we found out that we were being rerouted to the finish line and that we could not finish the race. Lyndsey, Diana and I ran through water and walkers to get to the end where everyone (including Lyndsey and Diana) were medaled.

I still haven't run a marathon... what a piece of something.
My estimated time was 6hr 10min
I could have finished too.
thanks for all of the support:
Dad, Caitlin, Colleen, Lyndsey, David, Intelly, Kris, Diana, Chris and everyone who contributed monetarily.

About It... Part II

2007-10-11T16:17:00.001-05:00

Until I can sit down and write to you, dear friends, about my adventure, please catch up with Lyndsey...
http://columbuslocalnews.com/opinion/

All About It... Part I

2007-10-08T21:03:00.000-05:00

I will tell you tomorrow or the next day... but I still need to make my monetary goal... anyone? Anyone?

Happy Birthday Colweeny

2007-09-25T11:28:00.000-05:00

Sunday, October 23rd was Colleen's 25th birthday... Happy Birthday to her.

I actually made the trek to Akron for the event. We drank beer, ate salads, drank more beer, went out to dinner, visited Cleveland a whole lot, and saw Iron and Wine. We were all sick.

I also went to a class with her while I was in Akron (which I still am in Akron but we will pretend I am in Chicago looking back at my time), called Human Rights and Social Justice. Doesn't it piss you off that we were offered "World Problems" and she got that. Piss. The class that I went to they talked about torture. It was quite interesting and maybe later on I will disclose my thoughts on it.

I have been slowly creeping back in to the social awareness stuff... you may soon witness the soap box again.

I have also been thinking about what I am going to do when I am expected to run 26.2 miles without hardly any training... I guess I will run what I can and walk the rest?

I am sitting at a desk right now in Colleen's room that is situated right in front of a window. The view is country and trees... not a lot of rolling hills but blue sky and tree branches... it's fall... the sun is on my one arm and I am feeling all warm and fuzzy.

I am looking into changing my photo on my myspace profile... if you have a pic of me without Christopher... do you think you could send it to me?

I am not going to read over this before I post... so sorry if there are errors.

The Skinny.

2007-09-05T18:07:00.000-05:00

Greetings fellow bloggers, here's what's new in the life of T.

I am training to be a barista. I am actually pretty far and will soon be working the bar. I am consistently steaming good milk and pulling good shots, and most drinks have some decent artwork on them. I am now allowed to work the bar (either position) under supervision. For those of you who do not understand why I am not yet trained to be a real barista, let me break it down quickly. While I have been in and out of coffee shops for a solid 6 years, I have never worked for a company more dedicated to quality (all around). What that translates into is that while I have been at Intelligentsia since March, I have been waiting in line (not so patiently) to get my chance to train with one of our two trainers (who are quite amazing). After all of this training I have to pass the test... and then I am free to make your latte or traditional cappuccino... whichever you prefer.

Chris and I are just friends. The breakup happened some time ago but was too painful to discuss with y'all. We have made some really decent steps as of lately to steady our friendship.

I have moved to Lincoln Square. It is really cute and somewhat comfortable. I am living with Caitlin, who used to work at Intelligentsia and has become a good friend. It is actually much harder now to get to work... suck.

I am still trying to train for the marathon. I feel so guilty about quitting running when I thought my life was falling apart, that I have really messed some progress up. I also stopped fundraising... which really is quite bad come October when I have to pay the $850 that I have not raised.

I once again interviewed for shift lead at Intelligentsia and have once again just missed my chance. I will get there though.

I am missing Athens and Akron desperately. I miss Amy Popp and the Front Room. I want to have pizza and beer at Vaccaro's. I would die to watch the Closer on Monday nights at the Cantoni's. I am really trying my best to make Chicago home... I know I will get there eventually.

I would like to stop being complacent about social justice issues and my faith... if anyone has some suggestions.

Packing.

2007-08-24T09:53:00.000-05:00

Yesterday someone tried to scam me... again. They try to be quick and confuse you... I am on to them. Anyway, this guy tried to trick me into giving him money out of the register. How do you really deal with that in a loving way? I just got really cold and hardly responsive. I wanted him to know that I would not be duped, but I was trying my best to not be cruel as well.

I am packing right now. Moving is next week, and I am so overwhelmed. Anyone else sick of moving every 6 months? I am moving to Lincoln Square which is a super cute neighborhood north west of where I am now. It's much farther away from work and I will have to figure out the commute, but I will be much safer now. I am moving in with my friend Caitlin who is allergic to peanuts... so goodbye sweet sweet pb&Js.

Colleen, will you send me sources on the coke deal.

GIVE ME MONEY! LINK TO MARATHON GIVING ON THE RIGHT! PLLLEEEAASSSEEE!

Suggestions?

2007-08-22T13:32:00.000-05:00

My birthday was on last Friday, and my friends here did a pretty good job at creating a good time. It was low key and this was the first time in a long time that I didn't make a big deal about my day. Anyway, because Mae is a genius I have stolen her idea of making a list of 24 things to do when I am 24. I need some help. I got to #8 and kind of froze. It's hard to make a list of realistic goals that not only do I really want to live up to, but are able to and will be motivated enough to see out. I need your help. Give me some ideas!

Does anyone have any quarters?

2007-08-11T15:28:00.000-05:00

My laundry situation is getting out of hand! I keep telling myself that I am going to do it at different times, but it's just not happening. Tomorrow I have the day off, but I am going to China Town... which will hopefully turn out to be more fun than laundry.

Colleen, are we ever going to talk again? I miss you friend. I hate Bangs and paint-balling for stealing you.

Miss Popp, we are also seemingly never going to talk again too... I hate this 9-5 business.

Also, if anyone does have some spare change, I could use it towards raising money for my marathon... not laundry. Thank you Amy for your graciousness.

My Action Film

2007-08-10T11:22:00.000-05:00

I have spoken with some of you about the recent attacks in my neighborhood. I was updated yesterday that there have been 8 since a month that starts with M (March or May... I don't remember). So I have been super alert on my late walks home and have thought about purchasing some pepper spray. I think someone suggested that I just put Lysol in my purse. This being the case, I have found more comfort in my reluctant move. I am moving quite a hike away from both jobs, and have been feeling a little sad... plus I think I have liked my neighborhood.

If the attacks weren't enough, think the events of the last couple of days may be making me anxious to get the hell out.

On Wednesday night some people from work went out. We were all having fun, making conversation, and were all a little annoyed with the crappy bands on stage. All of a sudden the singer of one the bands said "NO FIGHTING!" Then we saw the fight. Neither person got a really good hit at the person, but it was a small bar and they were struggling so hard to get at each other, that it all felt a little unsafe. We all stepped back and waited for it to cool off. It was weird and a little ridiculous especially when the little blonde girl (who had nothing to do with anything) threw out the N word. I forgot the fight even happened until yesterday when something a little more dramatic happened...

I was at work and going on my break. I was just hanging out at the counter when all of us noticed some folks on our patio standing up and looking at something. Instinctively I walked outside to check it out and witness a guy being chased, trying to get in a cab to escape his pursuer, and a man pull out a gun and point it at the guy who is ducking into the cab. Honestly I was quite afraid, so I ran inside, aimlessly said "There's a guy with a gun," and my ASM said "Call 911." She went outside then and saw some more of the events unfold as I called 911. When I got off the phone I was standing there with a coworker when we heard a gunshot. The rest of what happened is really irrelevant...
The good news is that the gun that I saw being pointed at someone was being pointed by either an undercover or off duty cop. Also, the news is that nobody was hurt...

September 1st cannot come fast enough.

Back to the Basics.

2007-08-08T16:29:00.000-05:00

So, running. I am going to try and be back on track now. To really make my goal I am going to have to be training really hard. The weeks of sadness really put a dent in all of my progress.

I got a hair cut today... it's mostly the same just a lot shorter again. It seems like nobody has noticed... which makes me think that they did notice, but didn't like it, so chose not to say anything. I am a little insecure.

Being back at work is good. I really enjoy being back with the people that I see everyday. I am not all that thrilled about being back in an environment that breeds sexual harassment though... that sounds scarier than it is. It just gets tiresome when people are making comments about your looks everyday.

Life is ok.
I am myself again.
This all sounds so dramatic.

Vacation is officially over.

2007-08-06T13:58:00.000-05:00

I just got back to Chi-town (what?) from my fabu vacation in Ohio... y'all know where I was, you were there too (at least some of you). A few highlights from the trip include:
1.) Butterbeer, stuffed meatloaf, and stuffed salmon (Athens). (Mom and Shawana)
2.) Hanging out with the baby Ella (Athens). (Lauren)
3.) The flirty boy at Donkey (Athens).
4.) pool, hiking, climbling, and running (Akron).
5.) Matinee, Matinee, Vaccarro's, Matinee, Matinee, Thursdays (Akron). (All the Akron folk)
6.)bloody hand, Rowandun, and something about a bruised butt, and Jakes (Bangs).
7.) oh You know...
8.) Collweeny!

I also bought a new phone and signed my title over! I understand that half of you do not understand this list, and that's ok because the stories would probably be boring to you anyway... this is more like a thank you card to everyone who made my vacation special!

La Cucaracha

2007-07-17T12:56:00.000-05:00

Work= cockroaches.
Seriously, not cool! My coffee shop is not as pest free as I would like it. This shouldn't be gross for you, as they don't come out where you could see it. They scurry around the patio as I am sweeping at night and they run up the outside walls as if it was their cockroach highway.
Really Seriously Gross!

Who's excited about Harry Potter 7?! Wooohooo. Hopefully Hudson will prove to be the best party for the last book! Did you know the 21st will be my sister's birthday? What an exciting gift to party Harry style.

The training could be better, but I am getting ready to send out my letters and planning for my fundraiser. That reminds me, have I gotten your address yet?

On the 28th I will be starting my 2007 summer vacation that I have named "My Ohio tour." Why did I name it? Because if you had been planning a trip on the beach and had to switch plans, you may do anything you could to be as excited about the first vacation as well. Anyway, would you like for me to visit you? I will be in Athens on Friday the 28th it seems... or whenever I can get Crankin there with me. I decided Athens first so that I could go to church on my vacation... so I will soon be seeing you folks who I only communicate with through the Blog. I will be toting fundraising letters with me, so ask me for one! I really hope SE Engine will be playing during my visit!

I hope to see you all soon.

I think I am Back.

2007-07-12T14:41:00.000-05:00

Hi guys. So that wasn't sooo long, but at this point I don't know that it was long enough. I have other things I focus on these days, so I think I am back in the frame of mind to be sharing thoughts with you all.

Sooo.... Amy Popp is coming to town and staying with me! Talk about exciting! Also, I am apartment searching. This is a little stressful and annoying but maybe a little fun. It's always interesting coming to those forks in the road where you feel as if you are entering a new phase of life. I feel like this is every year for me. Looking for a roommate and a new neighborhood seems like hairy scary.

Work is going well for the most part.

I saw Harry Potter 5 on Tuesday night. I don't know how I feel about it yet. I think I feel the same way I do about every HP movie... a little let down. I mean don't you think with amazing books you should be able to create at least good movies? It wasn't bad. It was fair. I sat in the front row with some friends and so I missed some stuff when my head was turned looking at the other end of the screen (oops).

Boring.

Feeling Down.

2007-07-06T18:06:00.000-05:00

Hi y'all. I don't have much to say these days, as I am trying to say as little as possible. I am not feeling quite myself due to some emotional hardship, so please forgive me from escaping the blog for now. Please do feel free to call (If you have my number) as I would appreciate the support. I promise to return with a more positive manner at a later date.
I will talk with you soon.

Happy 4th!

2007-07-04T12:20:00.000-05:00

I worked last night as the fireworks were displayed, and I will be working tonight as everyone eats themselves to death at their barbecue of choice. I guess I am not all that sad because I really detest the pollution created by fireworks and I was not invited to one cook-out. Honestly I don't feel like celebrating these days anyway.

Chris and I went to "The Taste of Chicago" on Sunday night... it was kind of a let down. I didn't feel like the food even compared to fair food. It however, was all fried, which did a number on my stomach the next day. On our way home I felt as if I was in a movie... it was really strange and sad all at once.

Who's excited for Harry Potter?!

I am boring today. I'm sorry, my heart is just not in it.

What I Think.

2007-06-28T16:22:00.000-05:00

I have decided to not go into detail here about how I feel about controversial issues, but not because I am a coward (which I may be but not because of this). I feel that it is very easy to misinterpret everything I write (need a class), and so I don't want to risk offending anyone. However, I do not mind discussing ANYTHING personally... I can even talk about diarrhea if you would like. You may find yourself wondering about past posts that may prove this decision hypocritical, I would say... you're wrong. If I said it in the past, I probably believe I am right (self-proclaimed-self-righteous-jerk) and therefore there is not controversy to be had. Thank you for caring about my opinions.

My dad and step-mom were just in town, and I don't think they had any fun. They still bought Chris and I loads of fun and alcohol.

Would you buy a raffle ticket for the chance to shave my head?

Paris Je'Taime= Goooooooood Film!!!

Comments.

2007-06-24T21:22:00.000-05:00

When I politely turned down signing a petition today (that I could really not be sure about it's intentions) about sex education, nobody that I was with batted an eye. I assume they were not concerned with my stand, knew that I didn't want to just jump into signing something, respected that my opinion may be different than theirs, or just didn't have any concern about my choice. The petition passer then moved onto Chris and a group he was standing with, and I did not see what happened there but I assume that Chris did not sign either. The one thing I did witness was someone asking Chris:
Chris' Friend- "Are you not pro-choice?"
Chris- "Uhh."
CF- "Wait, you aren't pro-choice!?"
Chris- "Well umm no I'm not not exactly pro-choice... but I'm not..."
CF- ???? (judgement) ????!!! She turned away and the heat was off.
I smiled at Chris and he didn't seem frazzled.

You do all understand that pro-choice and pro-life are like the labels democrat and republican or black and white.... ? So many times those labels are just too extreme and not accurate.

Chris surely felt confident in this interaction because he didn't fully disclose any of his opinions and nobody had the chance to misunderstand, be hurt by, or be disappointed in his real response. However, I felt really disappointed. I like when my friends either don't make me explain or give me the benefit of the doubt, listen to me fully, and accept my opinions and beliefs for what they are... my beliefs.

Another happening of the day...
I was greeting someone and simply asked them if they had seen the parade... and they answered with one of those sarcastic condescending responses. As I ignored this and asked another question, I was met with the same sort of response again. I tried to be polite and act as if I didn't notice, but what the heck. Maybe they were having a bad day or maybe they didn't realize that they were responding this way... but it was definitely bothersome.

Neither of these stories are necessarily life changing, but they kind of defined my day. As most people have been really supportive of my marathon training, their is one person that keeps being very discouraging... and that also seeped into today. The sun was out, people were celebrating, there was a parade... and I let those instances shape my mood. Hmm. Seems as though I need some perspective.

Feeling Lazy

2007-06-17T20:47:00.000-05:00

I need Amy Popp to tell me to run.

I swear that I am disciplined, but damn is it hard to run according to schedule. It doesn't help that work takes over my whole life so that when I do have time to run I am just wiped out and ready to sleep.

Chris tells me to run... it doesn't work as well because he is not doing the running with me.
I can't even read a book these days.
All I am ever interested in doing during my free time is eating and catching up on sleep. That's not completely true, I do still make time for friends.

Here is a request (because I like to think that you are interested in holding me accountable) why don't you call me or text me or comment on my blog with a little encouraging threat about my running....

Maybe that will work.

Would you come if I invited you...-

2007-06-13T18:58:00.000-05:00

to a fund-raising auction? What would be auctioned off? I don't know yet. My mom makes some cool stuff so maybe she would contribute. I could make some goodies. I could do the date thing. Pass along some of your ideas to me.
I need to know:
1.) What else to auction off?
2.) If you have something that you would be willing to donate to have auctioned off?
3.) If this is a good idea and if you could would come to it?
4.) Where would I have it?
5.) Should I provide snacks and beverages or make people purchase them for a very small price?
6.) Entertainment?
7.) Should I pay Katie to make invitations?

Ok, now that that's out of the way... how are you? I am busy these days... it feels pretty darn good. However, the busy-ness makes it harder to stick to a running routine. I will run though, never fear, I HAVE to run.

READ THIS one.

2007-06-11T10:50:00.000-05:00

This is an attempt to get back to educating and being educated about being a responsible shopper.

What used to be responsible shopper

I wanted to just give you a glimpse of the labels that you are buying. I do realize that there are different issues that are more important for each of us. For instance, for some it's if the company is green, for others it's if they are animal friendly, for me it's typically about human rights, and still to others it's about diversity among the company make up. I tried to copy and paste some of each of these things.

Nestle- "The company is also one of the world's largest chocolate producers contributing to child and forced labor problems in cocoa-growing nations."

Aveda- (Aveda is owned by Estee Lauder) "Estée Lauder has not signed the Compact for Safe Cosmetics, which calls for the removal of cancer-causing ingredients from personal care products. In addition, Estée Lauder has been cited for sweatshop labor abuses, toxic dumping, and antitrust issues."

Coke- (This is a general statement, please read further on their website. "Unfortunately, Coke continues to work against human rights, the environment, and the health of consumers, showing few signs of meaningful change."

Gap- "Examples of labor abuse still common include mandatory and unpaid overtime work, sub-poverty wages, and unhealthy working conditions."

Apple- "Apple has consistently lagged behind competitors, particularly HP and Dell, in environmental programs such as recycling computers; phasing out toxic chemicals like PVC from its computers; ensuring transparency and a willingness to talk to environmental groups."

Subway- "However, the company has been accused of aggressively marketing its franchise with little concern for the success of individual franchisees. Critics claim that Doctors Associates leases Subway rights without regard to proximity or market saturation, leading to diminished sales and performance for individual store owners."

Google- "However, the company has disappointed people around the world by catering to government-imposed censorship in China, failing to act against child pornography distribution in Brazil and for allegedly taking advantage of advertisers in the US."

Many of the other companies that you are wondering about are on this website... so go and explore.

I want to...

2007-06-11T09:41:00.000-05:00

1. Paint the apartment
2. Go for a long run
3. Grocery shop
4. Shower
5. Read
6. Write
7. Clean

I don't think that I can do all of that today. Most people would suggest doing it another day, but I gave up my other day off and I am usually too tired on the days that I work. I will keep you updated on whether I can live up to the list... which I should have made on a piece of paper and not my blog.

Sunny Today

2007-06-08T15:56:00.000-05:00

Erin Molnar tagged along with the Colleen, what a good surprise.

Today we went to breakfast and then we attempted shopping... After that we strolled on the beach and caught some rays... very nice. Now at work, I feel exhausted.

I am going to be putting in more hours at Inspiration soon... and I hope that this does not cause burn out.

Hmm... boring boring boring. See you.

What happened to my font?

2007-06-05T15:55:00.000-05:00

It doesn't look like that in the pre- publish post form.

To Athens and Back Again

2007-06-05T15:26:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday I went to Athens and returned on Friday night... that is my best excuse for not being here. I saw Lyndsey Jo... Teeter and she was wearing a long black skirt. There was nothing amazing about this skirt other than the Teet was in it. I have seen her in skirts and dresses before, but never a floor length straight skirt with two slits up the sides. She has sexy legs.

What do you think of this:

WIN A
DATE WITH
TALYA STRADER!

I was thinking about fundraising for this marathon stuff and that was the first idea that popped into my mind. It would have to be very different than a date because I am not sure Chris would love the idea of me dating anyone other than him. It would also have to be less like winning and more like paying for a date with me... and then am I selling myself? I feel like a lot of fundraising is boring for the ones who are giving the funds... like they don't get enough back from the money that they put forth. I mean I will be running for a long time and that's a lot but not $1,000 worth of running. I should be more creative... like a bake sale... or host a coffee tasting... or throw a party... or plan a date for you and I (and maybe pay for it?) Does anyone have any other ideas? What would you give me your money for?
-It's already a worthy cause.
-I am already running a ridiculous amount.
-I will be sending you a letter.
-What else?

In other news... I re- fell in love with Inspiration today.
In other other news... Colleen will be visiting this weekend.
In past news... Lauren was stuck in Chicago which meant I got to spend more time with her and her baby Isabella.

Cat and JessM...and Rwanda

2007-05-28T13:19:00.000-05:00

You too! Happy Birthdays. Sorry I couldn't make it, I wanted to. I hope you had lots of fun and enjoyed some "vodka tonic" and "gin and tonic."

This happened the other day at Intelly:
customer: Hey, where is the Rwanda coffee from?
Caitlin: Umm... what do you mean?
customer: Well, where is it from?
Caitlin: Do you mean region or town or...? I mean it's from Rwanda... the country.
customer: Oh, Rwanda is a country? Wow, I guess you can really tell I am an American.
Caitlin: Hehe....

Later...

customer: Oh, I bet that movie Hotel Rwanda is about Rwanda, huh? I mean, I haven't seen it, isn't it some war movie?
Caitlin: (In some nice and gentle words Caitlin talks about the genocide in Rwanda).

Yikes. I was standing there and heard the whole thing unfold. I was so mad when he left... which is probably the wrong emotion to have. He was very open to being informed... but really how do you not know about Rwanda? By the way, he was probably like 26.

Happy Memorial Day.

If anyone wants to live in Chicago for 2 months starting like June 15, my friend will be going to Peru and needs to sublet... something to think about.

Happy Belated Mae

2007-05-25T07:36:00.000-05:00

The days leading up to May 21st I kept thinking, I know Mae's birthday is coming I am sure she would love a call on her birthday. When the moment was there I failed to remember and now it may seem that I don't care about your birth. Your birth is actually pretty important to me... if you had not been born, who would have lived down stairs... or been my bible study leader... or been you? I am glad you were born Mae and I cannot wait to hear what is on your 26 list! By the way, do you mind if I copy that. I will credit you, but I think it is a great idea and would like a 24 list.

So... do you guys mind if I call and ask for your address and then send you a really obnoxious letter asking for money?

That also reminds me, Mae, did you reach your goal or are you short?

This morning (6:50am), some guy was in the parking lot (directly below the apartment complex), was beeping every 5 seconds (no exaggeration I was counting the seconds). The beeping lasted so long that I got up, got dressed, and was on my way down to tell him something (not sure what) when it finally stopped. I went to my window and there were two gentlemen speaking aggressively with each other and all I heard was "You have to pay to park here." I was annoyed. This man was beeping because someone with their flashers on (which means they will be back) was blocking his car and he couldn't get out. I want to have compassion for the man because he probably had to work and was going to be late for reasons that he could not control, but does this excuse him from waking an entire complex of peacefully sleeping people?

I didn't get the position that I interviewed for, which is almost good. I was given good reasons as why their choice was not me and also good feedback about how I will be given the chance to move up in the future.

I hate running.

For Dignity and Respect

2007-05-22T21:21:00.000-05:00

I would like to invite all of you to visit these two websites:

http://www.firstgiving.com/talyaruns

www.inspirationcorp.org

thanks

How can I be so in love with T.V.?

2007-05-18T11:40:00.000-05:00

I went without it for, what, all of college (5 years). I always supplemented with going to the rec room to watch things like the O.C. and Arrested Development (interesting combo). I also could catch up when I would visit Chris in Hudson because of his familie's DVR. For hours I would make Chris watch the past 3 episodes of Desperate Housewives, Grey's Anatomy, The Closer, Alias... etc. In turn, Chris has had the chance to make me watch his favorites like Battlestar Galactica and Avatar. Now I have too many shows to watch and have to make weird evaluations like what's more important, going to Colin's going away party when it starts or watching the season finale of Grey's Anatomy and arriving late... I chose to go late.

I am pretty sure that this love of T.V. is pretty normal. However, my bad taste is also normal and not widely accepted by people that I think are "the kind of cool I want to be (squidzaus)."

Summer is almost here and my training is in full swing. If you want to know exactly what I ate today or what kind of exercise I managed, just ask me, I am recording it all. Coming Soon... my own website specifically for marathon stuff.

How to be funny?

2007-05-15T18:50:00.000-05:00

My funniest joke comes from Amy Popp, and when she tells it, people laugh. However, most people give me a giggle and roll their eyes. Maybe because it's interactive and they feel stupid... or maybe because Amy is cuter, or maybe my delivery is off. It's about a bird.

Hey! Hey! How about this one?!

What kind of bees make milk?

If you want the answer, you have to call me, because this joke is truly in the delivery.

Otherwise, people mostly think I am funny only when I am being loose and crazy and that doesn't happen often. Maybe I should say that that doesn't happen in front of most people.

That baby is crying again.

So we know that Mae and Lyndsey are funny, are you?

Why is this all so hard to figure out?

2007-05-13T00:30:00.000-05:00

I told on a co-worker tonight. I have no clue if this means that I am a horrible person without compassion or if I am a better person for not worrying about whether they will hate me if I stay true to my character/integrity and hold them up to these expectations that I hold everyone else? Will you tell me that I am better respecting them in this way? There was truly no harm done other than I am once again overthinking this moral standard thing. I don't know what it means to do the right thing, truly honor people, or be gentle while strong.

Do you ever feel like there are so many little things you need to do in your life that it becomes so overwhelming? Laundry can become a giant task when you can't find the time to relax... so do you relax or do your laundry? I mean laundry is not the only thing... it's cleaning the apartment and paying my bills and writing three letters and reading once in a while and returning the videos and buying shoes and groceries... and and and. Damn, and Lyndsey, you thought YOUR life was hard. Seriously, how will I ever be an adult if I can't figure out how to manage these things?

The good news is... I can't figure out any of this and so I am relieved of truly figuring it out. Props to the big man for being in control. Shit, I don't want to control any of this. I am just fine being the follower.

Dear Montrose Ladies,

2007-05-09T00:42:00.001-05:00

This just in...

The flaxseed, as Mae informed us, is amazing, but has to be ground. Apparently, if it is in seed form, we don't actually get that amazing stuff from it. Hence, Colleen poops a lot when seeds are blended (crushed/diced) into her smoothie. So... Follow Mae's lead and get on the train but don't swallow the seed whole.

I sent The email. What email? The one that asks Angela Brown to add me to the Inspiration Marathon Team 2007!

Identity.

2007-05-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

What are the things that make someone? Is it their religious/spiritual beliefs? Is it how they treat other people? Is it what they like? Is it what they are passionate about?

On this one episode of America's Next Top Model (did I just say that?) Tyra was ripping on this girl for not being an individual. She kept asking her who her favorite actor was, or role model, or favorite color... what? Are those really the things that define people? I guess if acting or music or painting is your passion, you may be able to answer those questions quickly and say yes, everyone should be able to answer that and it does show a little something of who you are. Most of the time the only thing that I can answer is my favorite color... which most of the time I can't pin down to just one answer. Is the fact that I am not really into music or films or anything that most people can relate to, weird?

Ok. Answer me. What makes you, you? Tell me the things that set you apart and mean something to you.

I keep saying that what I am passionate about is people. That kind of statement makes people really uncomfortable, but so does everything else I say. I am good at encouraging and loving what others do. I am good at being a friend sometimes. I think that those things mostly give a good indication of who I am. More importantly it all indicates who I want to be, which is sometimes a lot more important.

Your turn. Give it to me baby.

Dear Chris,

2007-05-06T11:37:00.000-05:00

Since you are able to access my blog, do you think you could do me a huge favor? I want to link my friends on the side of my blog... if you love me you will do it for me... :)

Just kidding. Really I want you to teach me not just do it for me.

Sincerely,
Girlfriend

Jen!

2007-05-06T11:16:00.000-05:00

You're here! You read my blog still? YAY!

So I haven't registered for the marathon yet... I am afraid. Also, after we used to run together, I stopped running for more than a year. So, this is a new start again and I am probably only at 4 miles on a good day. Training is not in full swing yet. Rewind. I stopped running in the first place because I was lazy and also because I felt like my weight while running was killing my knees. Soo... I started dieting and have completely changed my eating habits, and now I have reintroduced the running. I have confidence that this Marathon will actually happen... even without the amazing Amy Popp to inspire me to run daily.

I invited some friends over for dinner and beer the other night and about 4 out of 20 showed up... it was fun and I am not disappointed, but I wonder if I just don't give off the fun vibe. I mean who doesn't want free food and free beer?

Last night I did something really out of character and probably compromising of my integrity... I am too embarrassed to admit my fault here.

Congrats Lyndsey! Oh, and Congrats to Chris too who also was promoted.

I am applying for shift lead at Intelligentsia (coffee), which will probably not happen because I am too new, not bar certified, and everyone else who is interviewing for it has more seniority and is bar certified. We are also looking for a new Asst. Manager... which I am not bold enough to interview for just yet.

Running on the shore.

2007-05-03T11:08:00.000-05:00

It was so nice today. The running path was not crowded at all, it was sunny and cool, that kid in the red zip up hoody was too cute, and the waves crashing up on me was really fun. Also, have you ever been working out and listening to your music and that song comes on with all of the swear words and you just start shouting them in your head and it's totally uplifting... awesome. (Am I allowed to have a sentence that long?)

Here I come Marathon!

Here.

2007-05-03T00:13:00.001-05:00

If you were not there and would like to see...

http://flickr.com/photos/maddogmae

Sorry I still don't know how to link.

The good news is...

2007-05-01T16:18:00.000-05:00

I don't know who the bloody hand-prints belong to? I do know that they are not Al's! yay.

You all could come for the marathon in the fall of 2007.... how is that?

Who knew turkey burgers could be sooooo good!

Do you watch Heroes? It was good last night, huh?

A three hour nap solves everything.

2007-04-30T18:07:00.000-05:00

It felt so nice to be able to sleep like that again!

Does anyone have any good vegan recipes?

I am watching the OC, do you think less of me?

Hittin' It...

2007-04-27T05:05:00.000-05:00

Not like hitiin' it with somone or tapping some ass or anything like that, but the road rather, hittin' the road. Wow I can't wait until I get to sit in the car for 6 hours and then 4 and then 4 and then 6. Sounds a lot like what I just did this week at work.

Monday- 6-12
Tuesday- 6:30-9:00 and 10-6:00
Wednesday- 6:30-9:30 and 3-CL
Thursday- 6-11 and 5-CL
Today- OP-1

I am digging for sympathy and recognition... if you didn't notice.

It will all have been worth it when I get to see you!

Untitled.

2007-04-26T11:39:00.000-05:00

Is it ok to ignore the issues that I am really passionate about because I am busy? Is that a lame excuse that turns into eternal complacentcy? One might ask why I have the time to blog and not send a senator a letter... I can't answer that.

Am I excused from advocating for the international community since I am working at Inspiration? And if not, can you find any worthy excuses for me?

He was kind.

2007-04-25T23:03:00.000-05:00

yikes...

2007-04-23T21:04:00.001-05:00

is it bad to say damn before baby?

There is this damn baby that cries all of the time in our apartment building...

2007-04-23T20:57:00.000-05:00

and it's almost as annoying as the dancer that lives above us.

I am not going to apply or interview for the Cafe Manager position at Inspiration.

I am making friends, which seems like the only thing I ever talk about on this blog. The thing is, that even though some of the work I do is somewhat important, my real main goal right now is to create some kind of community to lean on. I need friends in a way that most people don't experience. Did you know that? Even if I don't have real life changing issues going on and even if we don't talk about me... I really depend on socializing and gathering energy from others in a big way. It kind of ranks like this:
1.) I need God (which is never recognized as much as it should be).
2.) I need a job (to make me feel like I have some worth).
3.) I need friends (so that I know that I am alive).
4.) Then comes food, water, sleep, entertainment.
5.) Crosswords probably fall in line here and maybe beer/coffee.
music probably doesn't even come in until like #11.

I might be traveling this weekend... stay tuned to find out where.

It was Him.

2007-04-20T14:24:00.000-05:00

I saw the Decemberists last night and when I found the opportunity to speak with Colin Meloy, he confirmed that I had indeed served him the other day... cool.

How do you act in front of a celebrity?

2007-04-18T11:15:00.000-05:00

Maybe something I questioned way too late.

Ok. So, in considering my beliefs, maybe I have taken the whole idolatry thing too seriously. That aside, I feel like holding up celebrities above people status is a little ridiculous. I have to say that there are a couple of famous people that could make my heart flutter... I don't like mentioning who. Anyway.... it's possible that I served Colin Meloy yesterday... and after I took the money and someone else said "hey I think the lead singer of The Decemberists is in the bathroom," I blushed and got really excited. After staring at him, I decided that there was no way that this was Colin. On my break I looked at some pictures and now I just don't know. Wouldn't I have recognized his voice? They are in town, that's for sure. They have a concert tonight and tomorrow... should I go?

In the end, Colin (the Intelligentsia one) maybe me feel ridiculous for not being able to keep my cool. What can I say, I am a fan of the Decemberists.

So... what if I was the Cafe Manager at Inspiration? Do you think I could or should do that? I would have to drop down to part time at Intelligentsia... but the coffee is what I really want to pursue... I think.

Advice... please.

You know who I am, right?

2007-04-15T18:37:00.000-05:00

So, after leaving the blog world for a while, I understand that people stopped coming here, but I expected that after I came back y'all would spread the news. There can't be that many people interested in reading about my life, but I guess I expected a couple more. I assumed that since I click on the links on your sites, curious people would do the same and find me here. Soo.... why is it that when I respond to some of your friend's posts... they ignore my comments? They do know who I am, right? Is SweetT not a recognizable alias? Should I change it? Am I being to needy for attention?

My feet hurt. Today was very berry busy at Intelligentsia.

Have I told you about the cockroach in the bathroom? Gross! They also call them water bugs... that's much friendlier.

See you tomorrow.

Taxes, Taxes, Taxes...

2007-04-14T15:40:00.000-05:00

My dad and I have had this deal since my becoming an adult, If he can claim me, than he will take care of filling out my taxes and since I am forever in debted to him, he gets my return. Well even though he was able to claim me this year, my many W2s have not all come in... meaning that I have to file for an extension. This also means that I cannot expect him to fill out all of the paper work... I get the money. Today was the day that I was going to sit down and take care all of this crap, and of course because I am not really an adult yet, I cannot find any of my W2s. I feel pretty defeated right now. At least I have a thermos full of Intelligentsia coffee to keep me going. Maybe to make it a completely productive day off, I will watch "The Lord of the Rings."

Teeter, do you remember when I tried to do that before? I am not sure it will take this time either.

Hey Starbucks ladies... or shall I say Monty ladies...
Might I urge you to try Intelligentsia coffee? I think you will be really impressed, at least Colleen was/is. If it is not found in any of your local groceries or coffee shops, you can find it online. If this is too much for you, than maybe I should just send some to you. Would that interest you? Tell me what you like in your coffee and I can pick out some that will fit your buds. (I am taking my "Bean Certification" test this week.)

I would like to invite all of you to visit Chicago. I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on the city and would be able to show you a good time. Also, If you would like, you could volunteer at Inspiration... it really is quite an experience.

Beer: I tasted a good beer last night.... darn what was it called? It was an IPA that was 7% and really hoppy (sp). I think it was a 3 digit number that started with 4... I will find it.

I almost forgot! Have you heard of missed connections on CraigsList? Someone posted about me! They said that my smile made their day... aww that's nice.

After Reading about You...

2007-04-12T10:28:00.000-05:00

I was thinking, because I am naturally jealous, after the teet's bad week everyone came to sympathize, why in the hell did you drop the ball with me? Where is my f'in sympathy? Except for the teet... she did give a quick encouragement. Obviously you shouldn't be mad at me here... because this is just my jealousy and my being prone to hosting my own pity party... plus she is cuter than me, so I shouldn't blame you.

Also. Chris is much funnier than me... or so it seems. If you read his blog, he is really hilarious even when he is completely depressing. I swear, if you heard the jokes that bomb in our cute little apartment, you would be seriously impressed when reading monsterbeard.
Oh yeah, and that comment about his links not being in any particular order, he means except for mine... he knows how sensitive I am about ranking... ehem LT.

Teeterness, Shit your life is sucking this year. That is not meant to be discouragement, but rather recognition. I am admiring your strength right now. Let's just take a moment and recognize that, at least you are not running into the brush trying to hide from your f'ed up attackers. This doesn't make your life better, obviously, it just helps put into perspective that your life ranks a little more comfortable than other's. You can win over me right now though.

One of my supervisors (Inspiration), yesterday, mentioned the possibility of me being offered a new position. Seriously? After, what, two months of service? okey dokey. Honestly, I would rather "grow with the company" at Intelligentsia... but I haven't been offered anything yet anyway.

Today is my day off! It's been really nice so far. Chris and I are celebrating Easter tonight with a very nice dinner. I don't know how Jesus and dinner relate...

Another Awful Day...

2007-04-07T21:54:00.000-05:00

I want another rest. God knew that I was in for some real suckiness and that's why he gave me all of that rest when I first got to Chicago. In reality perspective my life is vibrant and great... but right now I feel really low. I am sure that a time without a job and no motivation is really a lot worse for my sense of self worth and overall well being.

A guest at the Cafe (Inspiration) told me that I am mean, today. I tried to be honest and vulnerable with him and he took that chance to sink his teeth in. Eventually I asked that he and I just come to a place of respect... and he sort of agreed. The whole situation just knocked me down.

It was really hard to go to work (Intelligentsia) after that.

This is just a pity party.

My life doesn't suck.

Hooray for the resurection of Jesus! Seriously rising from the dead has to be much rougher than a couple of shit days.

Happy Easter Y'all!!!

I want a do-over.

2007-04-06T10:25:00.000-05:00

Waking up this morning was fine, but everything after has been a big disappointment. Working at Inspiration has been great, but I am sick of the attitudes that fly around that place. Because we are trying to achieve a restaurant style setting so that we can really reintroduce these folks back into society, they expect EVERYTHING that you would find at a restaurant. They want food that is not on the menu, quick service, perfect food, and the worst thing is that they think they can treat the servers any way the want. The complaints are constant. I am expected to address the issues and squash any problematic situations. There was so much more than attitude today... miscommunication and misunderstanding were rampant. Workers were late... everything that you can think. All that I wanted to do was leave. When I got out of there I waited for 30 minutes for the bus, which was fine because I didn't have anywhere to be. Once I was on the bus... it was really really cramped, which was still fine. Then, toward the end of the ride, a person that clearly had some physical handicap got on the bus and said to a young woman,
"Excuse me, I have a hard time standing up on the bus."
translation- may I have your seat?
The girl just looked at the person annoyed...
WTF- dumb girl just get up!
What is wrong with people?

It's 10:38- I am sure my whole day is not ruined. Anyone have some nice kind stories for today? I want my hope restored.

Untitled.

2007-04-05T21:05:00.000-05:00

I don't have anything to say, but I wanted to come here anyway. I get a little nervous when nobody comments on a blog, so I want to cover it up as fast as possible. I should have titled this post "the cover-up."

Remember when Country Crock commercials were great?

Do you remember dancing to the intro music to "Full House?" I loved that show!

I want icecream... see you later.

We all want to inspire someone to write a blog!

2007-04-05T00:04:00.000-05:00

Mae, you win.

After thinking about my friends as children, I wanted to talk to you about it.

Here is what I know:

Colleen is surprisingly cute as a child and an adult. Have you experienced cute Colleen? How can a woman that tall be cute? She pulls it off. When she was a wee one she was absolutely adorable, just ask her mom.

Chris... was in his own world. It's not so different from now, but at least now he obeys the legal drinking age.

What I don't know:

Who else was completely floored when they saw Lyndsey Johnson's (yes it was Johnson then) senior pics? If she could go from cheerleader to what she was in college... I can only imagine what she was like as a little girl. I imagine she spent a lot of time with her father.

Mae. Do you think she had as much spunk then too? I bet she didn't question herself as much. I bet she knew then that she could accomplish anything.

Fast forward to now:

Chris is back... check it out.

Do you think the full moon thing is real? It's hard to doubt.

I have this friend that asked to have us (her friends) write a letter to her reminding her who she is and why we love her, wouldn't you love to have a letter like that? I am feeling inspired. Let's start doing this for each other!? Could we write to each other and talk about these things?

Hi mom.

Making Friends and Falling in Love.

2007-04-01T18:22:00.000-05:00

Chicago, in comparison with the other cities I have moved to in the past, has quickly grown on me. For instance, when I moved to Athens I hated the place for about a year. I surely liked my new friends there and maybe what I was doing with my life, but it took a year for me to grow to adore that place where I would (or so I thought) forever call my true home. Akron was hard too. Making real genuine friends and being comfortable took almost the whole time that I was there. It was only after I left when I realized that I had truly established a life there. Now, in Chicago, my first couple of months were really rocky, but it is suddenly all leveling out. Working in two places where I feel i am really using my true skills is a definite plus. It is also nice to be working with people of the same age with similar values and goals.

I was walking down the street the other day when I realized how comfortable I was. I walked into a consignment shop and bough a pair of jeans for $13 and a pair of shoes for $3.75! I can have a soy latte any day for free. I eat breakfast at least 3 days out of the week for free too! Not that thriftiness has driven me to happiness... but it has sure helped. I know where to get groceries, go to the movies, go for a run, how to use public transportation, where to eat when I want to eat out, and I am learning so much about coffee and social work.

Eventually I will be financially stable and summer will be here... things are really looking up!

I stabbed myself with a fork.

2007-03-27T12:33:00.000-05:00

Do you ever feel like you have the magical answer? This answer is so clear to you that you don't understand why nobody else has found it... and then you remember that you probably aren't right.

I don't know if I am right or not, but there is some majorly tense division between the team I work on at the Inspiration Cafe and Case Management. My answer is unity and grace. Apparently this issue is deep seeded and almost impossible to see the end of. I saw some of it unfold this morning and I just wanted to take these two gentlemen by the hand and scream "Don't you see that you are saying the same thing!" It's probably just my naivity and inexperience with the organization that drives me to think this. I don't know... how are we to ever assist in other's growth as they reach for sustainability if we are such a divided team?

Colleen just came to visit this weekend. It was nice. We did some fun things but nothing too crazy. It was nice.

Happy Green Day!

2007-03-17T20:39:00.000-05:00

Which is what it means to me.

I am sitting at home, drinking alone. It's not an unhealthy sit at home... I don't think.

I miss having friends.

Wow... you have now taken a ride on the ride called "Talya's self-pity."

More to come when I have something or anything to say.

3 Years Ago Today...

2007-03-16T11:15:00.000-05:00

I started Intelligentsia this week! I am officially a barista again... who doesn't pull shots. Ok so this coffee shop is fantastic but it has it's problems. We aren't going to focus on the bad right now though, only the good. I have worked 3 days now and wow is it great to be working on my feet again. I love the work with the beans and the manual stuff. It's worth the pay cut!

Tonight Chris and I are going to the biggest fundraising (annual) event for Inspiration Corporation. It is a silent art auction with live music and dancing. I am very excited. This is how we are celebrating our three years.

I am a little sick. It's humbling.

Drunky.

2007-03-09T08:39:00.000-06:00

I saw my HR guy yesterday. We all (all of the CSRs which is what I used to be) went and had some drinks last night. My HR guy was there. He clearly wanted to pretend as if the incident didn't happen, but with this group of girls he was sadly mistaken. He didn't really defend himself and he and I mostly just said our apologies.

I did get some phone numbers last night of girls that I like... they are real good friend material. I am excited that they might want to hang out with me and I could start to have friends.

I may be going to Hudson on Saturday, however I will probably not know until I go to work tomorrow morning because my supervisor rarely checks his email. At any rate, it would be bad bad bad if I didn't go because I was informed last night that when Elly (it's her birthday) heard I might not come she was really upset. So I guess we are going to have to make it happen.

They disconnected our cable today... shit.

2007-03-07T21:01:00.000-06:00

So today is officially the day we will call "That Talya is unprofessional Day." I walked out in the middle of the day. Well, it was past middle. The short story is that I gave my 2 weeks notice and when the boss called and asked me to come to the office on my lunch I went. Bad idea. Essentially it was a fucked up and twisted exit interview with the president and the HR guy. The president of the company belittled and shamed me and asked questions that were clearly uncomfortable and outside of my strict boundaries. I was very firm at first and told her that I would not respond to her bullying and that I expected to be treated with the same courtesy and respect that I had given her. She was horrible. She kept digging and digging on me until I finally cracked. I cried and yelled. She used my vulnerability as a tactic and told me that I needed to compose myself and focus. Eventually I just shut her off, stared at her, and let her lecture me until she could no longer come up with things to say. When she paused I got up, gathered my things, and walked out the door. When I had asked what they wanted from me, they told me that this meeting was to found out if there was any way they could keep me at the company and at least extend my two weeks notice. Yeah, I guess they messed that one up. I had no intention of not going back to work and completing my two weeks until I was right outside of my building and was still crying. They had used all but 15 minutes of my lunch and now I was mad. I went and returned my uniform and when I saw my HR guy in the office:
he said: Hey, what are you doing?
I said: I am returning my uniform.
he said: oh so you're not giving us two weeks?
I said: Well, not anymore!
he: ...
I said: That was some meeting Matt (with my eyes I told him that he was a coward).

Hopefully this will not tarnish my repuation.

Lyndsey... I told you that you win whatever you want... but I think that Molnar would not be happy... maybe a variation would be better for you!

Welcome Back Cat.

2007-03-04T19:37:00.000-06:00

Amy is in Japan... or Thailand... or somewhere. I haven't heard from her and I really wish we would have planned to have some kind of communication about her well being.

Announcement: Colleen Rankin wins the friend of the month award! Friend I would not be sane in Chicago without you.

Lyndsey Teter wins whatever she wants.

I started at Inspiration Corp. this weekend, and I love it. These people's stories are amazing and their attitudes make me laugh.

I had my second interview at Intelligentsia (coffee shop) today. I would be taking a 5 dollar an hour pay cut if I was offered and took this position. If you have advice I would like it now.

Colleen, will you give Erin Molnar this address? I would like to at least communicate to her in this way.

Talk with you tomorrow friends!

self-consumed

2007-03-02T19:35:00.000-06:00

Do you ever wonder how stupid you have to be to have a blog? I honestly don't mean that as a criticism to you.

I think my thoughts are important (they aren't really). I think that I am right(which is usually never true). Turns out that (to me) the most important thing in life is OTHER people and relationships.

Blogging is good for communicating. Blogging is good for keeping up with other people. Blogging does not substitute for having real relationship with those people.

The teet said it right when she said that "I felt stupid for all the things I've thought about ever."

Family matters, friends matter, people matter, and my job selection does not matter.

This should not provoke sympathy for me, rather turn your thoughts to real things. If you don't have something or someone to REALly think about... then think about junior teet...

I had my inteview yesterday...

2007-03-02T05:55:00.000-06:00

and it went really well.

ok I realize that I was not clear about job options... so here goes.
No matter what I am going to work at Inspiration Corporation and I will be supervising meals regularly and developing relationships with the guests that are a part of the program.

As of now I am with CUI. It is 7-4 or 8-5 depending on the week. It has the potential of really messing with the Inspiration position because it is never consistent.

The coffee shop... is what I want to do with my life. While all of you (mostly) went to college so that you may learn a skill that you would then apply to a real life job, I went to 1. be a part of the social norm 2. and to become a better smarter person. Most of you know that eventually I would like to own a coffee shop (and one a lot like this one), so it wouldn't be a transitional position for me, it would be true application to my future.

I know it sounds silly to say that I made a commitment... but I am still not even out of my probationary period... you know? They also ordered a uniform (just my size) and we are supposed to go to our new building on Monday (this a new building for the company). This building didn't want us in there without uniform which is why we haven't gotten to join them yet... so if I left... they maybe wouldn't be able to get into that building and it would be another postponement.

My interview was awesome and I have a second on Sunday... I also start at inspiration on saturday...

my coffee tastes like Spain this morning.

The People's Choice

2007-02-27T19:41:00.000-06:00

So I have this new job. In general it's boring and simple but pays well and offers benefits and untaxed rta passes. I am good at it.

I was offered a position with Inspiration Corporation tonight. I was planning on accepting and there is no information you need to know about this. So starting tonight, I have to jobs...

This sounds great right? A job to support me that really offers nothing to the world and a place where I can make real connections and be in real relationships with people.

Here is the hard thing...

I received a call today from the coffee shop around the corner that I have fallen in love with. It's great people, great product, great education, and you can buy without guilt. I have an interview on Thursday at 4:30...

This would be no dilema if I didn't already have a job where I felt loyal to people... I can't just walk away if I am in fact offered a position at this coffee shop... this is what I want to do when I am in Chicago though... I have to walk away.

People! Help me. Either justify (if i was to make the decision to leave my new job) me breaking up with my employer or tell me that I need to stick to the commitment I have made and sacrifice what I want.

Goals for the week:

2007-02-19T19:13:00.000-06:00

Dear Jessica, I still do visit your page.

Run, Read, Clean, Direct Deposit, Transit Card, Ask a new person to hang out, Get an interview, Talk to my boss about WV... and so much more.

Who wants to visit Chicago???

Yikes.

2007-02-18T15:18:00.000-06:00

Twice in one day.

After searching through every possible person's blog I could find, I realized that I am glad that you all do not read my blog. What I am writing about is pointless and hopefully not defining. While it's really flattering (I'm a loser) when someone adds me as a link on their page, I feel confident knowing that nobody stumbles this way... and it helps deter people when you write very little.

I hope to bring up the level of content on this page. After all I am devoting so much time to this project.

Do you know what is really frustrating? I am sure you have your own ideas... but I am really only asking about mine. Anyway the frustrating thing... is finding out how little people care about each other. It seems as though (to me) our culture (when played out perfectly) says that we should put our family first and after that how you deal with people doesn't matter. I know that I am not going to put this as carefully as I should... but I don't know that I can really articulate what I am thinking. Ok let's go.

Concerning commitments:
Because of guilt and obligation and selfish feelings, people (the normal kind) (only opinion) will follow through with the plans they make with their families. Not everyone does it because of these reasons, but most do when it comes down to wanting to break the commitment. Do you know what I mean? Like mostly I want to see my mother but when it comes to the day and I am just feeling poopy and not like trying to communicate, because she is the woman who kind of raised me and because she has power over me like no other woman... I will keep to the commitment. (All of you probably know that using me as an example is bad because I am not as close to my family and this is why this particular issue haunts me).

Now the friend test:
Your friends don't want to be with you if you don't want to be with them... so they will accept your flakiness...
Or
Your friends will not make you feel guilty they will only talk about you behind your back... so screw them.
Am I being harsh? Do relationships not play out this way?

Here is the full circle. As I was reading all of the blogs today, it was difficult thinking that anyone of these people were like that. They are all people who stick to their word but also change their minds and when they do their friends understand. They know that family can be hard but it is essential because they are they people that when you move away you don't grow distant (I am guessing). I am not conveying my point as well as I want... All I want to say is that I missed my chance to grow relationships with these people and I am sad. I love my friends and all but let me tell you that there are not many of them and none of them live close to me. How am I to find people like you here? I can't believe that I expect too much from friendships because I have all of these examples...

I miss Athens... but let's not pretend that I would truly take advantage of the people that I wish I were friends with now... I know that I am too something to do that. I think resentful is the something... I am sorry if you don't know what that means.

Can I tell you that I am resentful about any faith community that I interacted in there... would you forgive me for that? Would you understand why I have carried that around and not given it up? Do you think I am a stubborn ass?

The point:
I am looking for friends who:
1. Care about important things... like poverty, and the homeless, and AIDS, and the environment, and about not hurting others...
2. Cares about me
3. Thinks that I have plenty of flaws
4. Likes talking and enjoys listening
5. Encourages and rebukes me
6. Isn't fake but rather genuine with the general public... in the kind way... like Ellen Botkin or Amy Popp
Another Point:
I think that only responding to your family because of good or bad motives sucks.
The Last Point:
I don't actually know anything.

Hey! You have a real job right?

2007-02-18T10:20:00.000-06:00

Do they lay out in your "worker manual" or book of rules and regulations, that you must wear lipstick, eyeshadow, mascara, and blush? Yeah I didn't think so. We all have dress codes but seriously I have never seen or heard makeup anything but encouraged. I learned a lot about my new job on Friday. Apparently I will be warned when the president is heading over to check in on me and will be told to check my makeup. Another funny thing... I don't even get to accessorize by myself. I don't know if I told you that I will be wearing a dress... or that some time this week I get to go to Macy's with a personal shopper and pick out work shoes... but this is the kicker... the building manager will be providing us with (fake) pearl necklaces. Oh yeah, and even during the summer hose or tights are a must... spoken by Matt (HR guy) himself "we are a company that wears hose." I laughed when Matt was encouraging the undergarments and wanted to ask if he came to work everyday with hose on under his suit.

Since I have never been good at makeup, I went to Aveda yesterday to buy some new stuff (and schedule an appointment to get my hair cut). I was waiting waiting waiting for someone to help me and finally Danny walked up. Notice the y this was no Danni... whatever he was the only one asking if I needed any help so I excitedly said yes! I needed someone to help me match foundation to my skin tone. He was actually really great even though he seemed very nervous. He made sure that the woman who rang me up knew that he helped me and asked me that next time I came in for a "service" that I would request him. He was so dang adorable of course I would.

So if on Monday someone does not say "hey you look great," I will surely cry. Looking good is too hard ladies... I am no good at it!

Remeber the application process?

2007-02-15T11:09:00.000-06:00

I got the job. I am now a greeter! What does a greeter do? Yeah, it's just like it sounds. My job is to greet people into the USB building and direct them to where they need to go. It comes with benefits and the hourly wage is enough to support myself while only working 40 hours a week. That's a little too boring for me though. I am still planning on finding a part-time job. I should have an interview with Inspiration Corporation either today or some time soon. I don't know if I mentioned that this organization (Inspiration) reminds me a lot of Good Works. I found them when looking around for a cause to sponsor when I hopefully run the Chicago Marathon. Anyway, no worries, I have a source of income.

Big News... I don't know if I am allowed to tell you... but I will... Chris has been invited to shoot a documentary in Ubumi, Zambia in June or July. We are both exploring the possibility of going.

The Long Search

2007-02-09T11:47:00.000-06:00

It has never taken me so long to find a job! Any advice?

I continued the "application process" yesterday and my first face to face interview (which was yesterday) went really well. My interviewer and I seemed to have chemistry... which actually never happens for me because I hate talking myself up... it's just unnatural. Anyway, we went across the street to where I could potentially be working for my second interview... and since the property manager's assistant called off sick, apparently the property manager forgot about this confirmed meeting. My first interviewer told me that this really hurt my chances of getting the job. He still took me to another building to give me a better idea about what my job would be if I were to work for them. I think I would like it. They don't have another opening until March. I am turning in an application at Argo Tea (where Chris works but a different location) today.

At least not having a job gives you the chance to go on more runs... yay.

Rompin' In the Woods

2007-02-06T20:22:00.000-06:00

West Virginia! I am starting to get very excited for my skiing adventure during the last weekend of February! A group of girls (yoohoo to only girls) are going to Colleen's family's little WV house to ski and eat and romp and read and do whatever we want for a couple of days. This vacation will include some of my favorite people... yay!

I had a thing today. I say thing because you can't say "I had an interview process today." That's what Matt ( the guy who could some day be my boss) called it. I filled out an application (even though they had 2 copies of my resume), took a grammar test, as well as a typing, word, and excel test. The bad part about my job hunt today was that it was excruciatingly cold and I had some bus trouble. I go back on Thursday.

There has been no communication with Inspiration Corporation for the last couple of days.

I think I might be getting sick. Which is making me rethink running in the horrible cold.
Tomorrow it should be a little warmer so I will think about running then.

Just Doing It

2007-02-03T16:06:00.000-06:00

Thanks! Yesterday I went running around 4 or 5 and then today I went around noon. So both days I have gone, but I know that I am not pushing myself as much as I could. I also don't have a track or a screen to tell me how far or fast I am going. I also don't have a good watch. Today I did some other things to tone my rather large muscles (right), but still do not feel satified. I am envious of your gyms. I feel wind burnt with a soar throat after each run. Chris went with me today so I at least had someone that "I didn't want to think I was a loser so I wouldn't stop running." ( I don't know if it is appropriate to put quotes or hyphens there).

In other news, I am playing the Wii and feeling soar. Wii tennis and bowling are really fun games but they make your right wrist and forearm quite achy.

We also have these things in our apt.:
1.) an XBOX
2.) another XBOX
3.) and a sound system
welcome to boy land.

I Haven't Decided Yet

2007-02-01T11:20:00.000-06:00

So this running thing is still annoying. The only way that I was able to run before was that Amy made me... I made her make me. So Lyndsey T, and H, where do you find your motivation? I mean part of why I haven't said yes to this 1/2 marathon is because I don't think I will actually be running that much at that point. I need someone to make me do it... hmm accountability please.

I still don't have a job. I was really screwed over by my SB manager, so I am no longer able to transfer... which also means that I don't have benefits right now. I have had one interview so far and I should find out the results of that today. I have had many conversations that were like "well you'll have to jump through this hoop and then this one and don't forget that one."

I have almost given up on the inspiration corporation. That job would make me feel worth while and I am just letting it go. I might send them an email to check on my resume. I don't know.

Yikes.

Chicago Life

2007-01-30T12:35:00.000-06:00

Yesterday we bought a rug. Currently Chris and I share ownership of silverware, glasses, silverware holder, dish towels, a dish drainer, a table and chairs, a broom, and now a rug. There might be more to that list. Anyway, our apartment is really looking lovely.

Today is his birthday.

Happy Birthday Chris.

Hope

2007-01-25T20:31:00.000-06:00

When Amy Popp moved to Seattle she signed up for a marathon so as to get to know other people, stay active, and do something beneficial.
I still feel like I cheated myself by not running the marathon that I started to train for.
Ok. So. I was looking at the "team in training" website and the Chicago Marathon website thinking that maybe I could try the same path. While team in training is a nice thing and all it's really just not my cause. Do you understand what I mean when I say that? I mean cancer sucks and it's all around us but it's not the cause that I can put my whole heart behind. So I looked at this whole other list of charities that runners support for the marthon and I found something really neat. This organization called "Inspiration Corporation," and they are fighting to end homelessness. Cool. So I was reading about them thinking that if I was really to do this I would have to make sure I understand who I am supporting. So these people are way cool. They also had a job posting, and I applied (which I am totally hopeful about but don't know if i should be). You should really check them out www.inspirationcorp.org.
Pray for me. Pray that I would be motivated and start running. Also pray that maybe I get looked at for this job.
k thanks.

Turning Around

2007-01-23T19:17:00.000-06:00

I think that I am going to write to Oprah. Obviously (like everyone else) I say I am going to do many things that I never do... like run a marathon (there is still hope and a lot of time to train), or Teach for America (I was rejected), move to Alaska (Amy didn't either), graduate (a little sensitive), and save all of the children of the world (Oprah and I both have a savior complex).

What would I write to Oprah about? Well I would ask her for a temporary job until I can pay off my college debt and move to Africa so that I may teach in one of her schools... of course. I know that is really far fetched... but it's not like I have a lot of skills... so how else am I going to get to these places that I want to go?

I would still like to run a marathon. I don't want to move to Alaska or any other location right now. I would still love to Teach for America, but I need a degree for that.

I will write my paper. It shows up on my to do list every day.

So today it will go:
1.) post blog
2.) write Oprah
3.) write a little on my thesis

that should last me until the day is over.

Big City Gal

2007-01-22T19:26:00.000-06:00

Everyone has the capability of getting annoyed with themselves, correct? I mean it's not just me who hears a really obnoxious squeak escape their lips and wishes instantly to suck it back in... right? I mean, I know it's not just me. I had this friend in Akron named Jillian (she still exists their without me and we are still friends so the past tense is really not right here) and she was constantly asking me if I was annoying her or saying things like "God I am so annoying." (She probably would not have said God). Carrie too! She was another friend in Akron that did this... so I guess my questions at the beginning of this post are silly because I do know the answer... it was maybe just a sad attempt at an introduction that sucked you in... yeah right.

Anyway. I have been extremely annoyed with myself lately. Mostly it has been caused by doing nothing but spend time alone in front of the t.v. If you have ever lived with me, you may understand that doing nothing all day will send me into period-like mood swings. Chris loves those by the way. I think he is really falling in love with my fall asleep in the living room and wake up screaming at him routine.

So to stop this being annoyed with myself hole that I have sunken into, I started making to do lists. Each morning I wake up, think about them, decide to watch Oprah first ( on at 9am ), eat some breakfast, decide to watch more t.v., get a call from Colleen (pretend to sound hopeful about the day), watch a little more t.v., make Chris get up, more watching, lunch break, think about the to do list, ignore anything that I could possibly do until 7:30 pm at night... that is if you call this productive.

I am making myself stay up and do something tonight! YOu should hold me accountable.