I love you no matter what.
Ok. In my head, I attend church. Really, I have only attended one church regularly. It was maybe the most pleasant thing that I have ever experienced. In an attempt to cure loneliness, I started reading my old pastor's blog. Dude, it worked. I read a post that was up in November, and learned more about Love. I thought that was impossible.
I pride myself on being able to love people.
He talked about changing bloody bandages and cleaning up messes that you couldn't imagine. Shit, I just show up when I say that I am going to.
Tonight, as I sit alone, I learned about love that I can't practice.
Sometimes I wonder why I am in Chicago. Sometimes I wonder why I don't further invest in friendships. Sometimes I wonder why She stopped loving Jesus.
Liza told me that she was no longer in love with her savior. I wasn't afraid of that statement...
I am not afraid of you not loving Jesus.
I am terrified of me not loving Jesus.
I don't know what this means.
I can't wait to go back to Athens. I can't wait to go to church again. All of it means so much and nothing at the same time.
posted by Sweet T @ 10:07 PM
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