Fancy Pants

In Process

You do know that it will never end right? When you say "It will soon be over" or "When I am done with this I will do this" or "When I can afford this then I will do this" or "If I can just make it through this I will be fine," yeah those are all lies. Such is life.

I guess I have a hard time with this concept. Not usually outwardly, but in my head I am always saying these kinds of things and believing them.

It just can't be your birthday everyday.

So. Of course I am in process. I have talked a lot about finals time. Yeah, typically I don't get stressed out or rather I act like I am not stressed out... but even if I was going to... what would be the point. Finals time is just another great period of deadlines... that's every day guys.

What else? Oh yes. I have sent in my detailed outline of sweatshops to crusade again. Pray about it (if you are into the Jesus thing). I am going to send it to a couple of other people too... just to spread the idea or possibility or something. I hope that this will be a never ending process ( the action and education not simply this time).

I am in constant struggle with my character. Good right? Always growing and all that jazz... But does it ever seem like you aren't cut out for it? Do you ever feel like your salvation is not known? Like you could never stop those stinkin demons from distracting you throughout the day? I know that I am not getting into heaven because of works and that I will never have to endure more than I can handle... but what if I am a fraud? Meredith once told me that the way that you can tell if a believer is a believer is if they are producing fruit. Well ok... so am I producing fruit? Does the fruit have to be good? Can the fruit be cancelled out? What if everything I do is for image?

I am listening to Alanis Morissette right now. She is probably too mainstream for many of your tastes, but I really dig her. It's amazing to listen to her first album and then her latest and see the growth. She went from angry girl to a wise woman.

I just googled the boyfriend. I read 29 pages before skipping to the last page #82. He never once appeared. There was a guy named Christopher Topham though. Just imagine if they called him Toph for short. Toph Topham... hehehe.

posted by Sweet T @ 1:05 PM