I stabbed myself with a fork.
Do you ever feel like you have the magical answer? This answer is so clear to you that you don't understand why nobody else has found it... and then you remember that you probably aren't right.
I don't know if I am right or not, but there is some majorly tense division between the team I work on at the Inspiration Cafe and Case Management. My answer is unity and grace. Apparently this issue is deep seeded and almost impossible to see the end of. I saw some of it unfold this morning and I just wanted to take these two gentlemen by the hand and scream "Don't you see that you are saying the same thing!" It's probably just my naivity and inexperience with the organization that drives me to think this. I don't know... how are we to ever assist in other's growth as they reach for sustainability if we are such a divided team?
Colleen just came to visit this weekend. It was nice. We did some fun things but nothing too crazy. It was nice.
Happy Green Day!
Which is what it means to me.
I am sitting at home, drinking alone. It's not an unhealthy sit at home... I don't think.
I miss having friends.
Wow... you have now taken a ride on the ride called "Talya's self-pity."
More to come when I have something or anything to say.
3 Years Ago Today...
I started Intelligentsia this week! I am officially a barista again... who doesn't pull shots. Ok so this coffee shop is fantastic but it has it's problems. We aren't going to focus on the bad right now though, only the good. I have worked 3 days now and wow is it great to be working on my feet again. I love the work with the beans and the manual stuff. It's worth the pay cut!
Tonight Chris and I are going to the biggest fundraising (annual) event for Inspiration Corporation. It is a silent art auction with live music and dancing. I am very excited. This is how we are celebrating our three years.
I am a little sick. It's humbling.
Drunky.
I saw my HR guy yesterday. We all (all of the CSRs which is what I used to be) went and had some drinks last night. My HR guy was there. He clearly wanted to pretend as if the incident didn't happen, but with this group of girls he was sadly mistaken. He didn't really defend himself and he and I mostly just said our apologies.
I did get some phone numbers last night of girls that I like... they are real good friend material. I am excited that they might want to hang out with me and I could start to have friends.
I may be going to Hudson on Saturday, however I will probably not know until I go to work tomorrow morning because my supervisor rarely checks his email. At any rate, it would be bad bad bad if I didn't go because I was informed last night that when Elly (it's her birthday) heard I might not come she was really upset. So I guess we are going to have to make it happen.
They disconnected our cable today... shit.
So today is officially the day we will call "That Talya is unprofessional Day." I walked out in the middle of the day. Well, it was past middle. The short story is that I gave my 2 weeks notice and when the boss called and asked me to come to the office on my lunch I went. Bad idea. Essentially it was a fucked up and twisted exit interview with the president and the HR guy. The president of the company belittled and shamed me and asked questions that were clearly uncomfortable and outside of my strict boundaries. I was very firm at first and told her that I would not respond to her bullying and that I expected to be treated with the same courtesy and respect that I had given her. She was horrible. She kept digging and digging on me until I finally cracked. I cried and yelled. She used my vulnerability as a tactic and told me that I needed to compose myself and focus. Eventually I just shut her off, stared at her, and let her lecture me until she could no longer come up with things to say. When she paused I got up, gathered my things, and walked out the door. When I had asked what they wanted from me, they told me that this meeting was to found out if there was any way they could keep me at the company and at least extend my two weeks notice. Yeah, I guess they messed that one up. I had no intention of not going back to work and completing my two weeks until I was right outside of my building and was still crying. They had used all but 15 minutes of my lunch and now I was mad. I went and returned my uniform and when I saw my HR guy in the office:
he said: Hey, what are you doing?
I said: I am returning my uniform.
he said: oh so you're not giving us two weeks?
I said: Well, not anymore!
he: ...
I said: That was some meeting Matt (with my eyes I told him that he was a coward).
Hopefully this will not tarnish my repuation.
Lyndsey... I told you that you win whatever you want... but I think that Molnar would not be happy... maybe a variation would be better for you!
Welcome Back Cat.
Amy is in Japan... or Thailand... or somewhere. I haven't heard from her and I really wish we would have planned to have some kind of communication about her well being.
Announcement: Colleen Rankin wins the friend of the month award! Friend I would not be sane in Chicago without you.
Lyndsey Teter wins whatever she wants.
I started at Inspiration Corp. this weekend, and I love it. These people's stories are amazing and their attitudes make me laugh.
I had my second interview at Intelligentsia (coffee shop) today. I would be taking a 5 dollar an hour pay cut if I was offered and took this position. If you have advice I would like it now.
Colleen, will you give Erin Molnar this address? I would like to at least communicate to her in this way.
Talk with you tomorrow friends!
self-consumed
Do you ever wonder how stupid you have to be to have a blog? I honestly don't mean that as a criticism to you.
I think my thoughts are important (they aren't really). I think that I am right(which is usually never true). Turns out that (to me) the most important thing in life is OTHER people and relationships.
Blogging is good for communicating. Blogging is good for keeping up with other people. Blogging does not substitute for having real relationship with those people.
The teet said it right when she said that "I felt stupid for all the things I've thought about ever."
Family matters, friends matter, people matter, and my job selection does not matter.
This should not provoke sympathy for me, rather turn your thoughts to real things. If you don't have something or someone to REALly think about... then think about junior teet...
I had my inteview yesterday...
and it went really well.
ok I realize that I was not clear about job options... so here goes.
No matter what I am going to work at Inspiration Corporation and I will be supervising meals regularly and developing relationships with the guests that are a part of the program.
As of now I am with CUI. It is 7-4 or 8-5 depending on the week. It has the potential of really messing with the Inspiration position because it is never consistent.
The coffee shop... is what I want to do with my life. While all of you (mostly) went to college so that you may learn a skill that you would then apply to a real life job, I went to 1. be a part of the social norm 2. and to become a better smarter person. Most of you know that eventually I would like to own a coffee shop (and one a lot like this one), so it wouldn't be a transitional position for me, it would be true application to my future.
I know it sounds silly to say that I made a commitment... but I am still not even out of my probationary period... you know? They also ordered a uniform (just my size) and we are supposed to go to our new building on Monday (this a new building for the company). This building didn't want us in there without uniform which is why we haven't gotten to join them yet... so if I left... they maybe wouldn't be able to get into that building and it would be another postponement.
My interview was awesome and I have a second on Sunday... I also start at inspiration on saturday...
my coffee tastes like Spain this morning.
